|Absolute Value|

Well, Tuesday morning arrives and Limp Bizkit is done with. What an amazing concert. Fred Durst is the King of Cool. But man, is he short. I thought he was taller than me but NO, not a chance. Paul and I were front row. It was insane. The crowd surge when Mr D walked on was crazy. We eventually went about 8 rows back because it was too crazy. Yes, I am a panzy. Fred has so much energy on stage. I absolutely loved it. Pictures will be up on my Gallery as soon as I have them developed.

We have moved into our new flat. Paid £1766 as a deposit yesterday. I don’t even want to look at my bank account. Went and spent £200 on home stuff like a microwave and a kettle from Argos. All I want now is a TV and my broadband. BT Yahoo looks like the best option. $40.99 a month and I can get XBox Live to work….

Otherwise our flat is cool, just a few things that need to be fixed and it is a bit noiser than Earlswood House. Hey, but a new start is always good.

Grant got his visa, so he should be here on the 11th. Will be fun.

To all Distributed.net fans, they had a huge server crash so hop on over to give a small donation

End.
Regards the High Lieutenant of Bovine Farming

Today I am calling on the masses of the Internet and the masters of the universe (He-Man and Co.) to help me in achieving my goal. By the Power of GraySkull!

I am wanting to consolidate my domains into a single one with a distinctive one. Grant’s “Firefishy” is wonderful. No one else has that name. I need a unique name that would suit my personality. Anything would be great. Please comment and give ideas. And Grant, I know of the first one that you are going to think of and the answer is no!

I know BFG thinks that having all these domains is silly and I agree. I just want one domain name and then I will get the .za.net, .za.org, .co.za and .com under it. Then I will have everything I need!!! (manical laugh in progress)

I just finished writing an invoicing system. Took me two days. What a nightmare. Well, everyone is going out to watch Pink tonight, so that leaves me with the entire night to play more XBox. I received my first XBox magazine yesterday. I WANT MORE GAMES!

Well, Grant has finally got his money for his car and will hopefully be getting his visa soon.

Jon left on Sunday for South Africa. Lucky Bastard! I want a braai and some steak.

Limp Bizkit is getting closer. I can’t wait.

I run TightVNC at work to connect to remote computers. I love connecting to my collegues’ computers and moving the mouse and stuff like that. It frightens them (manical laugh in progress)

More to the point.
Grant mail a large number of people yesterday but forgot to take the header out the email that states where the email originated. Ha, so Firefishy is going to take some crap from some irratated people. And his blog in on that site… Imagine the comments.

Regards
High Chancellor of Paper Mache

Reading BFG’s blog today, I had a similiar experience with “user type” people. Although it had no reference to glass windows or telephones. My experience had to do with computers. Suprise Suprise!

A user came to me with printer problems. Hmmm. Below is an actual transcript of what transpired. Be prepared to be amazed.

Question: How are you printing it?
Answer: By pressing print

Question: Is the printer on?
Answer: Aren’t you being cheeky today!

Question: Is the printer on?
Answer: Oh, Whoops sorry

Hmmm. PEBKAC (Problem exists between keyboard and chair)
Easy solution then. Hit user with rubber mallet.

Speaking about rubber mallets: They are the best way to return a hard drive that you don’t need. Say the HD you bought is giving minor hassles and you want it replaced. Smack it with the rubber mallet. It leaves no visible marks on the outside but destroys the insides.

Well, today is a drinks night for work, so free booze and food. We entertain recruitment agencies such as Anders Elite. They are always good evenings.

Hippy Killer is coming on the 20th. That will be fun. I havn’t had a beer in about 2 weeks and I know he hasn’t had one in about 2 years. Tough not being able to drink the cheap stuff!

Note to BFG: don’t forget to put the http:// in your links. Moveable Type doesn’t like it if you leave it out.
Visit User Friendly. I love this comic strip. Go Dust Puppy!

End

Regarding Grant’s post about Telkom which can be read here truer comments have never been said. Telkom is wasting opportunities and holding South Africa back. Stop the Rot!

Grant, I think we need www.telkom-is-crap.za.net. That would be worth it. Have that site available for people to complain about service. Install phpBB and let them let their feelings run riot and once a month send an email for each complaint to Telkom’s customer service email address. Sounds like a plan. Who wants to host the 40Gig/day traffic that will be generated
I have also registered www.absolutevalue.za.net so that people can use that site for my blog. Yay, so I know have 4 domains in my name. Why? I have no idea.

Its getting closer to the day I move. Can’t wait. I need space. Going to go purchase some cutlery, a toaster and a kettle this weekend… As mentioned before, Argos is really cheap. This is the kettle that I am going to get. Why am I showing this? I don’t know….

See you guys later. Jonathans (Riordan and Dedekind)… if you want to stay at my place ever, please come over… It will be very cool.

Regards
Deputy Secretary to the United Telkom Alliance
Deputy Director of Spandex Retrieval

Last night I spent the night Here. What a great place. 13th floor and huge view of London.

Heather Small formerly of the The M People was the entertainment. I have her CD now. It was given to all the people there.

So to BFG, I notice that you didn’t notice my comments regarding your spelling about being a bear. Oh well, I suppose you get like that when you work in such a nice building and go to the 33rd floor. I will remember this and piss on your grave when you die from concierging all your miserable life. AAAH, that feels better. No offence meant
I put links into my site now, so the masses can link directly to my other peons’ sites. Camel Smuggling now has been adopted by BFG. He stole my idea! PLAGIARISM!

Protecting my ideas is important. To put them into the public domain without my approval is sacrosanct. I will be speaking to my lawyer about it. Section 2(c) paragraph 2(a) line 4 word 3 says Hulabaloo! in the book of protection of information in the public domain. You are in violation.

Enough rant and more …

Help, I am missing an MX record. Damn DNS!

Word Up to the millions of peons that read this brilliant form of communication that the world has brought apon us. Even Google has me. Look Here I love technology.

I am sure I can leverage this to my benefit. What is a popular topic on the internet. Porn!!!
But there is so much, so I need to get a term that many people search for. I know - Camel Smuggling. Thats perfect.

OK, so in one paragraph I have referenced porn and camel smuggling. I can almost feel the hordes of camel smuggling porn addicts coming into my blog. Oooh, Grant is going to kill me. The bandwidth is going to die with the load of all these sick pervs.

Oh well, he will have to deal with it.

Jonthan now has his own blog. Don’t go there! There are latin hating mongrels there that mock your writing. I have the emails to prove it.

I now have £40 to spend until the end of the month. I have that much over the amount that I have to pay for my deposit. Once April comes, then I will be alright, but it is not fun to have no moola. Ha, I said moola. Please click here to donate food to me.

Thank you for reading my diatribe. Go H.323!

Regards
The High Admiral of Pepper Spray and the Dictator of Object Orientation