|Absolute Value|

Friday is upon us and I really need this long weekend. I bought an Aerobie last weekend and it is fantastic. Its an absolute neccesity in the world.

My Crap Acer is giving problems again. The stupid “B” key keeps stuffing up. Now it has to go away again. This is the second time the “B” key stops working. Last time they replaced the keyboard. Grrrr

I love XBox Live It is amazing. Met two South Africans on there. Its crazy. The stupid French are the worst. They do nothing but moan and drive like shit. Has nobody ever told them about what an inside lane is and what brakes are? Stupid wankers.

High Tea at Harrods on Saturday. That is going to be cool. And if a good weekend arrives, I am going to spend the whole day on Hyde Park playing with my aerobie.

Enough rambling. Time to go back to Minesweeper Flags.

Regards

AAAHHHH, I have the powers of Grayskull now. Bulldog have activated our internet account and I was downloading at 97KB/s. FANTASTIC

And I purchased an XBox Live starter kit, so soon I will be able to kick ass online. (Smiley face omitted for legal reasons)

I am also staying at home on Thursday to code my new system for work. It is really cool that I can do this. No interruptions and all day coding. AAAH..

Apologies for another short post. I need to get back to minesweeper flags. BFG, I am the real man here. The only problem is that the boiler is underground and about the size of my flat. It is massive! And I suppose I will let you use your comments (Second smiley face omitted for other homosexual related issues)

Regards Twyford

Damn Bulldog Wankers. They are taking a week to activate my DSL. I need it now. At least I have a TV now, so my XBox can now be used. Thanks to PaulG for that.

And my boiler in my flat is broken. No hot water. Well I can take that. Because I am a REAL man. Yeah, whatever.

I need to have some sort of inspiration for these ramblings. My mind is empty, although some people would say it was never full. Wankers……

This work of art (my website) is now licensed under the Creative Commons license. Which pretty much means you can use my ramblings if you so desire as long as you give me credit. Which is VERY MUCH DUE!

This post has been a very uninspired and boring post. Apologies for it. Actually wait, no, no apologies will be said.

Co-recipient of the George Bush Award for authoring the book “Politics for Dummies and 10 easy steps to run a Country”

Hey Hey.

Bought some excellent stuff yesterday… 2Mbit DSL from BullDog and a nice little Linksys DSL modem/router with 802.11G yes G! For the non-geeks that means FAST wireless communication. Almost 5 times normal wireless stuff.

I can’t work at this point because of a large DB update that I am doing, so I thought I would write a little entry in my blog. Again for the non-geeks, a blog is a shortened version of the word web-log.

Now for some strange Haiku:

Christmas Haiku

By: Scarlett Windsor

What really are you?
Certainly not egg; what’s nog?!
Very misleading

Hey strange guy with beard,
I don’t know where you came from.
What’s with the red suit?

Stockings and candy
Santa, presents, Christmas trees
Who’s this Christ fella?

Sorry for that but I thought it would inspire some “Christmas Cheer” in you today.

Keep me posted on your goings on in your lives. OK, wait no don’t because I actually don’t care that much. Ha, you thought I was being a nice person there. WELL YOU WERE WRONG.

Enough rant.
Eats shoots and leaves - the stereotype for all men.

Regards
The High Chancellor for MSN installations

Note to self: Concentrate while using the Tubes. Today I got to the Underground station and did not realise that I got on the incorrect line. Sat down and started reading The Metro. Half an hour later I realised that I was on the wrong line. Then got off and made my way to work. LATE.. Grrr

Now that work people (NOTE: no derogatory remarks) have my website address, I suppose I will have to censor my posts as in the last one. Not that I write anything inflammatory and at least I got 20, yes 20! doughnuts because of a previous entry.

At least today I am not cold or bored. For one I am working really hard (even as I type this, I realise the irony in that comment)

Today’s word is bailiwick

I worked out today the cost of my Nero “problem.” At the moment £171. That is madness! Thats a whole TV! Now I know why I don’t have a TV. Hmmmmm. I see a pattern emerging.

Easter weekend starts tomorrow. And I already ate my easter eggs. Crap

I am currently writing a replacement for this system that stores and displays my posts. Anyone with a comment for its name? It is written completely in PHP with a MySQL backend.

And I am still waiting for a unique name for my domains and website. Cmon people lets get those fingers out of your {censored} and writing… See I told you I have problems with the censoring association of bull-{censored}. See its happening again.

Finis.
Regards
High Corporal and VP of Minesweeper Marketing

–UPDATE—-
Further to concerns regarding posts on my blog, I have censored a post that was submitted before. Read below.

Reading BFG’s blog today, I had a similiar experience with {censored] people. Although it had no reference to glass windows or telephones. My experience had to do with computers. Suprise Suprise!

A user came to me with {censored]. Hmmm. Below is an actual transcript of what transpired. Be prepared to be amazed.

Question: How are you printing it?
Answer:{censored]

Question: Is the printer on?
Answer: Aren’t you being {censored] today!

Question: Is the printer on?
Answer: Oh, {censored]

Hmmm. {censored] (Problem exists between {censored] and {censored])
Easy solution then. Hit user with {censored] {censored].

Speaking about {censored] {censored]: They are the best way to return a hard drive that you don’t need. Say the HD you bought is giving minor hassles and you want it replaced. Smack it with the rubber mallet. It leaves no visible marks on the outside but destroys the insides.

Well, today is a drinks night for work, so free {censored]. We entertain recruitment agencies such as Anders Elite. They are always good evenings.

Today has the beginnings of a boring cold day. For one, I am cold. Two I am bored… Well I suppose that comes from not doing anything. I need to code the website today and I am not feeling up to it.

Grant arrives on Sunday. He is already overweight; in luggage He also wants to send all his books. The cost R2100. What a ripoff.

I went through my first war with Utopia today. Still alive, so that is a good thing.

I still need a TV! It is very quite at home. Worked a 12 hour day and wanted to come in late this morning and still arrived at 9:30. Woohoo! A whole 30 minutes late when I worked an extra 4 hours yesterday. And my boss had eaten my last muffin. I was distraught. I even gave a link so that you can see what they looked like.
They are called American Style Blueberry muffins. Have a look and drool.

Sheldon has a job now. Finally he will be happy that I mentioned him in my blog.

I think I should put a PayPal link on this site so that people can donate to me. Hmm. Anyone wanting to donate? “For What” asks the masses. FOR MY TV.

Remonstrate with me
The High Kulula of Online shopping and Vice President of Microwave Popcorn